Time to get off my duff.

There is just to much weirdness in this world to not comment on at least some of it... So I guess it is time for me to dig something up.

I wont be blogging every day but I hope to add a few stories from time to time.

Be sure to check out the older posts and let me know if there is anything else you would like to know about!

Ya'll come back now ya hear!

FUNNY STUFF!

Satire: Troop morale boosted by surprise visit from First Dog


POSTED: 4:12 a.m. EST, November 30, 2006

Editor's note: This may look like a real news story, but it's NOT. It is from the The Onion, a humor publication that calls itself "America's finest news source." CNN may beg to differ, but we do enjoy a good laugh, and hope you will enjoy a weekly selection of their satire.
BAGHDAD, Iraq -- U.S. troops stationed in Iraq hailed an unannounced and unaccompanied visit Monday from Barney, the senior White House dog who belongs to President Bush and First Lady Laura Bush.
Landing in Baghdad's Green Zone amid extremely tight security, the Scottish terrier met with nearly 800 troops at a military mess hall, then visited Camp Victory, the U.S. military headquarters on the outskirts of Baghdad. In both locations, the 6-year-old First Dog was greeted with loud cheers and standing ovations by servicemen and women.
"Barney's visit really cheered us all up," said Army Spc. Anthony Udall, who was given the privilege of escorting Barney across the airport tarmac. "I can't tell you how great it is that the White House would send one of its own to spend some time with us out here."
Although was in Iraq for less than a day, he maintained a busy schedule while there. Events included handshakes with top U.S. field commanders, a tour of the base's new recreation facility, and a ride in an armored vehicle. Besides sitting and staying at a military briefing, Barney also participated in the ground-breaking for a new visitors reception center at Camp Victory, during which he energetically dug alongside camp officials.
"As soon as he stepped off the plane, it was clear he was interested in what was happening on the ground here," said Gen. George Casey, commander of Multi-National Force-Iraq who met with the First Dog in the courtyard outside his office at Camp Victory. "He seemed extremely enthusiastic about the whole situation and he was even visibly excited about some of the progress we're making."
But the visit's highlight was the First Dog's encounter with soldiers, who were clearly taken with his presence. Sitting with his head cocked to one side, he listened intently to the soldiers' concerns before receiving a treat and a pat on the head. Barney showed further solidarity with the troops by accepting an impromptu invitation to a belated Thanksgiving feast, during which he impressed servicemen and women with his hearty, nondiscriminating appetite.
The First Dog also received a tummy rub courtesy of the 100th Infantry Battalion.
Barney's appearance marks the first time a high-ranking Bush Administration official has toured the war-torn nation since Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's visit in April.
"Barney seemed very genuine and sincere, like he was really into being here," said Pfc. Steven Koch, who participated in a photo op with the First Dog. "The fact that he took time out of his busy schedule to play ball with me and my buddies means the world to us. It's nice to see a happy face from home."
Added Koch, "He's a good boy."
During his visit, Barney impressed top military leadership with his attentiveness and steadfastness, yet he tactfully avoided addressing such highly charged issues as extended tours of duty and the shortage of effective body armor.
Critics say the visit diverted time and energy away from Barney's domestic responsibilities. Yet a statement issued today by the White House defended the decision to send Barney to Iraq, saying it was "the absolute least this administration could have done for the brave men and women fighting for freedom" in Iraq.
The statement also pointed to the success of the January 2006 visit of the Bushes' other Scottish terrier, Miss Beazley, to troops serving in Kandahar Province, Afghanistan, and, in November 2005, the favorable reception given to Ofelia, their Crawford, TX-based Longhorn cow, in areas devastated by Hurricane Katrina.

HAUNTED ARKANSAS PART 7

The Old State House
Little Rock
The Old State House Museum is said to be haunted by a single ghost. The ghost of who… is the question. There are two potential candidates... (pun intended).

One is John Wilson, former speaker of the house and the other is Elisha Baxter.

In 1837 during a meeting Wilson ruled a representative Anthony to be "out of order". This made Anthony mad. Seems they weren’t on good terms to begin with. The two men got into a knife fight and Anthony was killed by Wilson.
Wilson was later acquitted on grounds of "excusable homicide". ??? Good lord.
It is said that Wilson's ghost has been seen wandering sadly around the corridors of the Old State House wearing a frock-coat. Perhaps he is destined to forever roam the halls as his punishment.
Elisha Baxter was declared the Governor of Arkansas after a disputed election in 1872. His opponent, Joseph Brooks, declared that he had been nearly a year and a half later he staged a coup of the State House. He threw Baxter out of office, set a cannon up on the State House lawn to discourage attacks. Governor Baxter moved down the street and set up another office, operating his own government against Brooks.
President Grant stepped in and restored order to Arkansas. Baxter was named as the legitimate governor and Brooks was forced to retire.
Baxter’s cannon is still there.
So off with you and see if when you are wandering the halls you feel a cold hand on your shoulder or an unexplained cold spot in the halls or you might even get to see a ghostly presence wandering aimlessly, forever banished from crossing over to the other side.

David O. Dodd boy soilder... A part of Haunted Arkansas

David O. Dodd

From: The Civil War Quadrennium by William O'Donnell

The winter of 1863 came, and it was a cold, harsh winter. The Arkansas River was frozen solid at Little Rock for many months. Just before the New Year, great excitement swept the city because 17-year-old David Owen Dodd had been arrested by Union troops as a Confederate spy.

Word of young Dodd's arrest sent shockwaves among the remaining permanent residents of Little Rock. The regenerating grapevine picked up the information shortly after the boy was lodged in the guard house at the arsenal after being brought in from the old Hot Springs Road where, by an unfortunate mischance, he crossed the path of a Union foraging party.

All the permanent residents of Little Rock knew young and handsome David Dodd, his father, mother and sister, Senhora. The Dodds had friends and relatives from Little Rock to Texas. David had worked briefly in one of the Main Street business establishments at the time when Confederate recruiting had decimated available manpower. Circumstantial evidence indicates David may have worked in Little Rock Alderman James A. Henry's mercantile store, although there is another report he had brief employment in Little Rock's new telegraph office.

Alderman Henry demonstrated his strong character at this juncture by doing what he could to help young Dodd, even though he ran the risk of tighter Union surveillance of his activities. He hired William Walker, a Fort Smith attorney, to defend the boy and he went to General Steele's headquarters, seeking permission to visit David, who meantime had been transferred from the arsenal to the State Prison on the western outskirts of the city (where the Arkansas State Capitol now stands).

The alderman's personal interest in David Dodd derived, at least in part, from the fact that the youngster had long been a personal friend of Henry's youngest son, who at this time apparently was still among the Little Rock children remaining in south Arkansas.

Apart from the curiosity about the Dodd boy, Little Rock's chief concern as 1864 began was making a living and finding employment for a horde of freed slaves who followed the Union army into the city. Interest also began reviving in political concerns.

There was no indication in the National Union in the first days of January that a military tribunal convened on January 2 to try David Dodd for espionage. So the chief interest of the city's residents was the arrival of delegates representing 24 counties in northern Arkansas who convened in a constitutional convention on January 4. They debated several days whether to amend the 1836 constitution to eliminate slavery, but on January 8 there was a dramatic interruption.

The David O. Dodd Story

The David O. Dodd Camp from Benton, Sons of Confederate Veterans and others participated in A memorial service in Mt. Holly Cemetery near the gravesite of David O. Dodd on January 4, 1997.

David Owen Dodd was born in Victoria, Victoria County, Texas, November 10, 1846. At age 17 in 1863, he was a dark-haired boy of slight build and a winning personality. His father, Andrew Dodd, and his mother, Lydia, were married in a village somewhere south of Little Rock and immediately moved to Texas where David and his sisters, Leonora and Senhora, were born. Records provide little insight into Andrew Dodd's means of livelihood, but his movements indicate he earned his living in some sort of itinerant enterprise. David's sister Leonora died sometime before the war.

When David was 10 years old, the family returned to Arkansas and settled in the environs of Benton. It was there that David attended school for the first time. His sister Senhora was sent to Little Rock to live with her aunt, Mrs. Susan A. Dodd, and to attend school in the capital city. In the fall of 1861, the Dodds moved to Little Rock to be closer to Senhora, and David transferred to St. John's College, out beyond the arsenal, where, ironically, he was to die two years later.

The Dodd family remained in the capital city until August 1862 when Mr. Dodd and David traveled to Monroe, Louisiana, leaving the boy's mother and sister with Mrs. Susan Dodd. David was now 16 and he took a job in the telegraph office in Monroe, staying with relatives there during the fall and early winter of 1862 while his father traveled to Mississippi to enlist, as he told David, in the Confederate army.

In January 1863, David quit his telegraph job in Monroe after about four months employment and went to Grenada, Mississippi. There, curiously, he found his father not in the Confederate army but operating some kind of store. For the next nine months, David worked for his father and then, in September 1863, he began his fateful journey back to Little Rock.

The Union, meantime, had taken Vicksburg and word had just reached Grenada that Little Rock had fallen. So Mr. Dodd went to Union military headquarters and obtained a pass for David to go to Little Rock to bring his mother and sister to Mississippi.

Once back in Little Rock, David took a job clerking in a Main Street store (perhaps the mercantile establishment of Alderman Henry). There being no mail service at this point in the war, three months passed without Andrew Dodd receiving any news from his wife, his son or his daughter. So the husband-father crossed the Mississippi, traveled north through Confederate Arkansas and sneaked through Union lines at night. Reunited with his family, Dodd immediately arranged through friends and relatives to have a wagon waiting for the family beyond Union lines south of Little Rock, and on December 1, 1863, under the cover of darkness, the father, mother, son and daughter traveled cross-country toward Benton.

A week later, the Dodds arrived in Camden, and a curious thing happened. Mr. Dodd went to the headquarters of Confederate General James F. Fagan and obtained a pass for David to return to Little Rock, ostensibly to wind up some family business. David subsequently admitted that he delivered letters to several of his acquaintances on his re-arrival in the city.

David moved in with his aunt, Mrs. Susan Dodd, and for the next couple of weeks he was a popular figure with the city's younger set, especially the girls. There were, after all, very few teenaged boys left in Little Rock, except for some of the Union soldiers. David even became popular with some of the younger servicemen stationed at the arsenal, especially because he usually was accompanied by a local girl or two.

On December 28, 1863, David visited the Provost Marshal's office at St. John's College (several hundred yards southeast of the arsenal) and had no trouble obtaining a pass through Union lines to rejoin his family in Camden.

He headed out the Benton Road, riding a mule, showing his pass to Union sentries at the city line and again at a point eight miles from Little Rock, where the outpost sentry tore up the pass, explaining to David that he would have no further need for it because he was entering Confederate territory.

A short way farther on, David detoured to spend the night with his uncle, Washington Dodd, who had lived in the area for years. He obtained some pocket money and a handgun from his uncle, and the next morning, December 30, he resumed his trip south. He took a crosslots route back to the Benton Road, instead of returning the way he had come to his uncle's house, and this proved to be a fatal mistake. Had he followed his earlier route, David would have stayed in Confederate territory. But his cross-country course took him back through an area controlled by the Union, and it was there he encountered a foraging party of Union cavalrymen.

Challenged by these horsemen, who demanded to see a pass or other identification, David tried to explain how his pass had been destroyed the previous evening by the last Union sentry he met. But the foragers were not convinced. They forced the boy to ride his mule alongside them as they led him back to the sentry post. As it happened, the sentry who tore up David's pass was no longer on duty. So the cavalrymen took their captive to the nearby guardhouse to be questioned by the lieutenant in charge of the guard south of the city. This officer, too, became suspicious when David was unable to produce personal identification. So he ordered him to empty his pockets.

The money, both Confederate and Union, did not surprise the officer. Neither did the handgun. Anybody traveling in remote areas without at least a pistol would be thought foolhardy. Some letters David was carrying to relatives and friends in south Arkansas caused no concern, but a memorandum book aroused curiosity. The officer found most entries in the book innocuous, but one page, written entirely in Morse Code, prompted him to arrest the boy on suspicion of espionage and send him back to Union headquarters at the arsenal in Little Rock.

General Steele called in a telegrapher from the Little Rock telegraph office to decode the suspicious page of David's memorandum book. The result was formal charges of espionage and formation of a Court Martial to try the case. The Morse Code in the memorandum book proved to be a highly accurate synopsis of Union strength in Little Rock, even listing the number of artillery pieces in certain units.

For two days, David Dodd was questioned by Federal military officers who were extremely anxious to identify the Union "traitor" who gave him detailed information about Little Rock defenses. They also demanded to know for whom David was working. Some histories claim the youngster steadfastly refused to answer either question, but Walter Scott McNutt's Elementary History of Arkansas maintains, without attribution, that David blamed General Fagan in Camden for his plight. He reportedly told Union investigators that Fagan refused to issue him a pass to Little Rock through Confederate lines unless he agreed to spy.

David was now committed to the State Prison to await trial. The military tribunal convened January 2, 1864, at the arsenal with General John Milton Thayer as the presiding officer of the Court Martial. The trial record indicates the boy was asked repeatedly to name the Union traitor and the person to whom he was directly responsible. But in the four days the Court Martial lasted, David kept silent. His attorneys, William Walker, who was hired by Alderman Henry, and William Fishback, who later became Governor of Arkansas, had little but David's ignorance on which to base a defense, and the defendant made only a feeble effort to explain his Morse Code information as something he did to exercise his telegraphic skills. The boy did not take the witness stand, but his attorneys submitted a written deposition of his testimony.

The Court Martial lasted four days. David Dodd was convicted of spying for the Confederacy and was sentenced to be hanged at the discretion of General Steele. The boy was immediately transferred back to the State Prison to await his execution, and General Steele designated Friday, January 8, 1864, as the fateful day.

Much happened in the two days between David's conviction and his hanging. But through it all, there was no indication that the boy was ever other than stoical. Troops immediately set to work constructing a gallows on the front campus of St. John's College, but as the execution would demonstrate, the Yankees were much more adept at killing people in hot blood than in cold blood.

Alderman Henry had been forbidden to attend the espionage trial. The occupying army still feared his ability to cause trouble. But the alderman courageously approached the Provost Marshal following David's conviction and asked permission to visit the lad in his prison cell. Alderman Henry, it will be remembered, was a close friend of David Dodd and that apparently was the reason he was allowed a brief visit with the boy. It was during this visit that David asked Alderman Henry to take charge of his burial, and the alderman agreed, though he was certain the Yankees would object.

To avoid arousing further Union animosity, the alderman went directly from the prison to the home of friends, Dick Johnson and Barney Nighton, at Fifth and Rock Streets and arranged for them to apply for General Steele's permission to take responsibility for the boy's funeral." With the understanding that Alderman Henry would not attend, Steele chose a small delegation of David's friends to serve as bearers and mourners and granted Nighton permission to receive the body.

As these plans were being made, there were repeated appeals to General Steele to grant the young spy clemency, but the commander explained that death was mandatory under military law when a spy is convicted by Court Martial. Nevertheless, the city still held out hope that there would be a last minute reprieve because of David's age.

Before he was moved to the guard house at the arsenal in the early morning hours of his execution day, David penned a heartwrenching farewell to his parents and sister. In his cell at the State Prison, he wrote:

Military Prison Little Rock Jan. 8 1 o'clock a.m. 1864
My Dear Parents and Sister:
I was arrested as a Spy and tried, and Sentenced to be hung today at 3 o'clock. The time is fast approaching but thank God I am prepared to die. I expect to meet you all in heaven. Do not weep for me for I will be better off in heaven. I will soon be out of this world of sorrow and trouble. I would like to see you all before I die, but let God's will be done, not ours. I pray to God to give you strength to bear your troubles while in this world. I hope God will receive you in heaven - there I will meet you.
Mother, I know it will be hard for you to give up your only son, but you must remember it is God's will. Goodbye. God will give you strength to bear your troubles. I pray that we may meet in Heaven. Goodbye, God will bless you all.
Your son and brother David O. Dodd

Drama more poignant than anything Little Rock had ever seen now touched the soul of the city. There were grumblings about David's conviction, and there even were reports - idle gossip, perhaps - that Confederate troops would storm back into the capital city on a rescue mission. Such talk may have convinced some people, though it is doubtful the majority of Little Rockians believed it. Stricter surveillance of all now approaching the arsenal was an indication that General Steele had heard this talk and was taking it seriously.

Despite bitter cold weather with snow covering the earth and the coercive attitude of the Union military, the vast majority of Little Rock's residents trekked cautiously past the arsenal toward the campus of St. John's College where all had heard the execution would be carried out. Many hundreds of men, women and children trudged to the site from the north side of the Arkansas River, crossing on ice that had solidly covered the stream for several weeks. Many of those entering the arsenal area wondered why they were not challenged by military sentries, but they found the answer when they reached their destination.

Entering the college campus clearing from the woodland that surrounded it, the civilian spectators were awed by a military formation of hundreds of blue-clad soldiers who stood in a square human barricade around a simple gallows. The gibbet consisted of two tall timbers joined at the top by a rough crossbeam from which hung a hangman's noose. Silence was the order of the afternoon. One estimate said there were 6,000 spectators. Anyone who spoke kept his voice down, and complete silence spread across the throng just before 3 o'clock when the prison wagon bringing David Dodd from the guard house was seen approaching. The boy was sitting on his rough wood coffin.

The northwest corner of the phalanx of troops parted to admit the two-horse team, and from that point on, all was very methodical, except for one obvious embarrassment a Union oversight caused. The prison wagon backed up to the hanging noose, and David was told to stand on the tailboard. His arms were tied behind his back and his ankles were bound. Then, to the dismay of the officers in charge, it was discovered that those who planned the execution had overlooked the military requirement that a blindfold be in place before any convict is executed.

There were few, if any, at the scene who were more composed than David Dodd, and it was he who rescued his executioners from their embarrassment.

"You will find a handkerchief in my coat pocket," he told the soldiers. Thus the doomed lad was blindfolded with his own kerchief.

There was a brief pause for the reading of the official sentence: Death by hanging. The Provost Marshal next fitted the noose around David's neck and stepped aside while a local minister, Rev. Dr. Peck, voiced an invocation. All the while, spectators standing outside the square of soldiers and crowding every window on the north side of the college building kept silent and virtually motionless, as if disbelieving what they were witnessing. Nobody seemed to notice the bitter cold that embraced the city. Spectators wondered what was being said when the Provost Marshal stepped onto the wagon tailgate and conversed briefly with the condemned boy. No one could hear and there is no written record of the conversation, but there has been speculation ever since that David might have been given one last chance to save his life by naming his co-conspirators.

The Provost Marshal stepped down from the tailgate of the prison wagon, and, in another instant, he tripped the tailgate latch. Thus began a horror that sickened even some of the battle-hardened soldiers ringing the area. Man of the civilians and not a few of the military men averted their eyes. The scene before them was a shocking demonstration of Union ineptitude a executioners.

Hangings traditionally are conducted so that the victim's fall when the trap is sprung will break his neck and render him immediately unconscious. But that's not what happened to David Dodd. In the first place, the wagon tailgate was not high enough to provide the necessary fall, and the Provost Marshal had failed to realize that new rope would stretch.

Thus, when the tailgate fell, David's tightly-trussed body simply slid to the end of the rope, stretching it and allowing the boy's feet to touch the ground. Slowly, David began to strangle and ever more frantically he began flinging his weight from side to side in agony and terror. A stalwart soldier quickly shinned up one of the timbers of the gibbet and, sitting on the crossbeam, pulled hard on the rope to hasten the boy's death. But it was more than five full minutes before young David's body hung motionless, and many onlookers were nauseous. A medical doctor finally was able to find no pulse, and the body was cut down.

The corpse was placed in the prison wagon and carried to the Provost Marshal's office at St. John's College. There, military doctors examined the pitiful remains and reported death due to "a disrupted spine."

An hour or so later, after most civilians had left the area, David's body was loaded in a wagon provided by Dick Johnson and Barney Nighton and was taken to Johnson's home on Rock Street where it was prepared for burial. General Steele insisted that the funeral be kept simple and quiet. But, by Alderman Henry's pre-arrangement, the body, ready for interment, was displayed on a couch on Johnson's front porch and many mourning residents passed that evening to view the remains.

Early Saturday morning, January 9, a small cortege of selected mourners accompanied David Dodd's body across town to West Main Street (now Broadway) and buried it in a grave in Mount Holly Cemetery reportedly donated by Nighton.

In 1913, an eight-foot marble spire was erected over the boy’s grave and a simple low marble curb was installed to outline the plot. On the spire is engraved: " Here lie the remains of David O. Dodd. Born in Lavaca County, Texas, Nov.10, 1846, died Jan. 8, 1864." A marble scroll overlaying the curb that surrounds the grave bears the inscription: "Boy Martyr of the Confederacy." The grave is in the southeast quadrant of Mount Holly Cemetery.

Haunted Arkansas Part 6

The White River Monster
Newport

Even though it isn't a haunting it is still weird!

Newport Arkansas has its own version of “nessy” the Loch Ness Monster and is pretty much accepted as being real by the townspeople. The White River Monster even has his own game preserve.

From about 1915 to the late 1970's, residents of Newport reported seeing a monster in the White River. This monster, nicknamed "Whitey", was described as being snake-like and at least thirty feet long. Witnesses reported that it made a loud bellowing noise and had a spiny backbone. Many reports were made by fisherman and campers along the river. In 1971, two men reported that they saw three-toed tracks along the muddy river banks and places where the trees and vegetation had been broken because of the monster's size.

Cloyce Warren of the White River Lumber Company snapped a picture in 1971. Was the photograph really of a monster? Arkansas legislators seemed to think so.

In 1973 the Arkansas State Legislator created the White River Monster Refuge along the area of the White River that runs adjacent to the Jacksonport State Park. They enacted a resolution which made it illegal to "molest, kill, trample, or harm the White River Monster while he is in the retreat."

Now… I think that perhaps the Legislature may have been having a few flashbacks from the 60’s… to much “maryjane” perhaps?… hmmm wonder just what kinda crops they were really growing back then?

Biologists believe Whitey was actually an elephant seal who somehow migrated incorrectly and ended up in Newport. Some townspeople believe that it was an elaborate plot to gain attention by farmers in the area… who knows?

The monster hasn't been seen much in recent years but many of the people living around the White River still believe he is there. Some think that he has died because the river has gotten shallower.

I hear you can still get T-Shirts and other memorabilia around the White River area even though I have never seen it.

Stupid People...

These are good for a laugh......some of us in retail can really relate.

How do these people survive?

1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I canorder six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".
4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
7. My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
8. Police in Radnor , Pa. , interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
9. A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency.
   
   Life is tough.It's tougher if you're stupid!

The definition of a S.O.B,

Nuff said???